People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

I am having a day where I am realizing loss.  Its the 1 year mark of Sarah dying. That is the catalyst for this. I really do miss her so much. Its amazing, it took a long time before I didn't think about her every single day. I am at about every other day now. The other day I was making dinner and was using a paring knife. I thought, I wish Sarah still sold Pampered Chef so I could get a better paring knife. It hit me so hard right then that I had to sit down. I still see her in people, just random people at the store who have hair that looks just like hers. And for just a second think, hey, I wonder if that is Sarah. Its crazy how your mind can trick you like that. I am so proud of Jim. He stepped up and has taken care of the kids so very well. I am impressed with how quickly he realized that  what he has to do. He is such a great dad. Ezri and Lucian are growing up so well. I love those kids so much. I hope that Jim is doing ok today. I worry about him. I hope Sarah is doing whatever makes her happy right now. And I have no doubt she knows how many people miss her.

Joe and Randi are moving back to Alabama. I am sad about that too. My kids had cousins close just long enough to realize how much they love it and now they are leaving. Aedynn and Lydia are my kids cousins. Zach is so in love with them. He loves having cousins and Aedynn and him get along so well. I have tried explaining to him that they are leaving and he doesn't understand. He thinks it will be ok as long as they go to Lagoon with us again next time we go. It will be sad to not have kids for my kids to play with at Coco and Papas house. I really do love Aedynn and Lydia. I will miss them a lot.

I have also been thinking about my sister. I haven't spoken to her since March. At first I thought it would be a temporary thing to teach her a lesson. But I have come to realize that its not. Its going to take a lot of time to heal the wounds. We have forgiven a lot over the years but at some point it has to be enough. My kids are old enough that she could say something to them that they will understand. It could hurt their relationship with me or Brandon or so many of the other people we love. I just cant stand the thought of that happening. I think I am more upset with myself for not being upset about it then I am for not talking to her. Sometimes you have to walk away, even if it is family. That doesn't make it easy though.

By myself!

Brandon decided he wanted to go hunting with his dad this week. So he packed himself, the dogs and the kiddos up and went for a trip to Milford. My whole family went to Milford and left me home alone! I really don't know what to do with myself right now! This is really crazy to me. I don't think I slept in the house completely by myself since Zach was born. I don't even have the dogs!

Did I mention I am a little lost?!?

It is going to be good, I plan to get my kitchen cleaned up, it needs it SO bad. I don't know if it has ever been this messy! It will be nice to have it scrubbed to its core. Otherwise, I have zero plans. I guess I will just see where the wind takes me!

Back to School blues

Zach has a teacher meeting tomorrow at his preschool. He has the same teacher but he still gets to go in and have some one on one time with her. This means the summer is really starting to be over. I am excited for him to start school again, he loves his school so so much and his teacher is amazing. Every morning of the summer he woke up and asked if it was his school day yet or if Miss Terry was done with her vacation and could go back so he could go back. I am so very glad he loves his school. They are a play based learning school. Which I wouldn't think would work but I really wanted him to learn socialization more then anything. I wasn't too worried about what he would learn-learn. I think that if I had, at some point in my life, learned how to talk to people I would have done so much better in school, I think being so uncomfortable around people made me so distracted that all I could think about was leaving. I want my kids to know how to make friends and not be so akward around people like their dear ole book worm, dork with bad grades mom. At least their dad was a dork with good grades! =) ANYWAY... Its really amazing how much he has learned by playing. I wish that his preschool extended through elementary, I would keep him there for as long as I could. Kids come out of Terrys class testing into 2nd grade science and knowing so much more then any other kid in kindergarten because they have so much fun learning everything. I hope it really builds into him that learning is fun.

But even with how much I love his school, I will cry when he goes back next week. I am a huge wuss about my kids growing up. I cry on every birthday and cry at them going to school. Any milestone is a cause for tears around here! Next year he starts kindergarten and Chelsea starts preschool and everytime I think of that I already tear up. Its going to be a rough one next year!

Life

I haven't updated my blog in quite some time so I figured I would get on here and let you know what we have been up to. We haven't been doing much, that would be why no updates!

Zach and Chelsea both took swimming lessons this summer. Chelsea was in a parent and tot class. It was fun for her and me to do together. She did pretty well, she would get cranky sometimes and no do anything she was supposed to be doing. She would just try to kick me instead, unless of course she was supposed to be kicking then she would cross her legs and glare at me. I really think most of that is because she didn't want me to hold her, she is so freaking independent. But MOST of the time she loved it. She is a total water baby. She would walk out in the pool and just walk until she was on her tiptoes with just her face out of the water and wait for me to come get her. If she has a float tube she will take off on her own no problem. She kinda freaks me out! That was the main reason she got to go to lessons, so that if she did get herself into the water by herself she might know the basics.

Zach didn't do as well as his sister. He is so afraid of water, I wish I had gotten him around it more when he was smaller. They have 5 levels of lessons and he was in level 1. I actually thought he was doing ok in them. He did everything the teacher told him to except put his face under water, he was so afraid of doing that. So he finished the first session and I signed him up for level 2. He went in the first day for level 2 and they said no way, and sent him back to level 1. He wasn't ready for level 2 because he wouldn't put his face under water. So after the first day he and I talked about it and I bribed him. (Yeah, whatever. I bribe my kids) I told him that if he would try putting his face under water the next day I would give him a dollar. It worked though. He went the next day and stuck his face in the water and has been doing it ever since. So he finished session 2 and I asked the teacher if I could put him in level 2 now and she said no. He still was behind and would have to do level 1 a third time. So we decided to take a break from lesson. We will probably try again in the fall or winter when there aren't as many kids in a class. I am also thinking of doing private lessons for him instead of classes. We'll see. He will be a champion swimmer one day! He really does love swimming, he just has the fear. He wants to be in the water and I think if he knew how to swim it would be even better for him.

My cake classes have been going great. I love all of it. It really is so much fun for me. I have always loved baking anyway and now to be able to take something I have baked and make it pretty instead of throwing a can of frosting on it is amazing to me. I took the beginners class then I took a fondant class. I LOVE fondant. It is so much fun for me. I even made my own for my final cake, and it tasted SO much better then the premade stuff you can buy. I am taking August off because we are going camping and I don't want to miss that many classes but I plan on starting again in September. I already have a pretty good idea of what I want to make for Zach and Chelseas birthday cakes.

I am also still working on my Medical Transcription. I am getting close to done. I got through the book work really quick and easy but when it came to the practical I started thinking I got in over my head. I panicked and thought, I will never be able to do this. So I didn't touch it for 6 months. I was really stressed about it. I finally one day just decided to get going again and have been getting it done. I hope to have it done by the end of the year, that isn't a very lofty goal so I should be able to make it. Hopefully sooner but I don't want to pressure myself too much either, then it wont ever get done! I really regret not doing it for so long, I could have had it done by now and have no one to blame but myself.

Brandon has been work work working all summer. He doesn't take time for fun like me and the kids! If he isn't at actual work he has a project at home. He has done a ton in our back yard this year. He leveled it out (the people before us had some strange raised flower beds and stuff, there was a HUGE one in the middle of the back yard) He also put in a horseshoe pit, expanded the patio, put new sod in in a few areas. He has also been working on his garage. He has it pretty much cleaned out, he is working on building shelves in it for all of our camping gear now. He is a busy bee!

50,000 Shoes

Cake Class

I have wanted to take a cake decorating class for so so long. I finally signed up for one with my 2 friends and I am LOVING it. It is so much fun. I am not claiming to be good at it mind you! But I am having a great time. We decorated our first cake yesterday. Hopefully I will get better!

Missing my kids

I am going to get my kids today! I am so excited. It has been so nice to get a break, I promise I am not complaining but I do miss them. Its crazy that my life is so wrapped around them. I really don't know what to do with myself when they are gone. They really haven't missed me much, which actually makes me happy. I am so glad that they are so happy at Grandma and Grandpas. They have played and had fun. I am sure Grandma and Grandpa are ready for us to come pick them up!

Vacation

We had such a fantastic vacation in San Diego. We have been home for a couple of days now so I figure its time to update!

San Diego was so much fun. We really needed a family vacation, it was time! We drove, which was not ideal to me but it actually wasn't too bad. We drove to Vegas the first night and stayed there. I had so many things there that I wanted to show my kids. I though it would be so cool. But we ended up not seeing much at all. We went down and saw the pirate ship at Treasure Island but didn't stay for the show. We played at Circus Circus for a little bit. Each kid got a prize and that was good enough!  On the way home we drove straight through, I was worried about it but it actually turned out better, I think. One extra long day of driving instead of two long days of driving.

We had such a good time in San Diego. We went to Sea 

World twice, the Zoo twice and the Wild Animal Park once. We also went to the beach. I love the ocean so much! The day we went to the beach it was overcast and windy. Not very warm either. Plus the beach we were going to was covered in seals! So we didn't stay long but it was still so much fun. 

At the Wild Animal Park we went in to feed the Lorikeets. I am pretty sure that this was one of Zachs top moments of vacation. He loved doing that. He was so cute. He never wanted to leave. At Sea World we went on the Behind the Scenes tour and part of the tour is that you can touch one of the little sharks. I think that was Zachs other favorite part.

Chelsea had the most fun of anyone, I think. She was free everywhere and they probably should have charged her double for the enjoyment she got out of it all. She is such a little animal lover. Every animal she saw she said HI to. I would tell her what they were and if she though she could say it she would try, HI Giraffe! If it was too hard she would just say HI! Her favorite was the Arctic area of Sea World though. She loved the penguins, the polar bears, the beluga whales and the walrus. She wanted to hug every animal that she saw while we were there.

Brandon, I believe, enjoyed feeding the Bat Rays. He thought that was so cool. He would hold half of a dead fish and let them suck it out of his hand. He loved it.

I loved watching my family. I loved watching them put their feet in the ocean for the first time. And being so excited to touch a shark or see a walrus or feed a bat ray. I love the joy that comes from it. 

KayeLynns Graduation

My little sister graduated from college today! I was so proud watching her. I am so amazed by her every day. I cant wait to go to her next graduation. She is going to go to the U of U to be a Child Life specialist. I know she is going to be amazing at it. 

I cant wait to see all that she accomplishes in her life. She is such a sweet, talented, beautiful person and she deserves everything wonderful thing that comes her way. 

BTW, I cried through her graduation and I am crying writing about it. I am so freaking proud of her! I seriously look up to my little sister.

Pretty soon I will be going to my brothers graduation also. Then I will brag about how fantastic he is too. I have a pretty awesome family. I have to say my mom did a hell of a job, she deserves a plaque or a medal or something!

So excited!

I am so excited to be going on vacation! We went to Yellowstone when Zach was about 5 months old and that is the only family vacation we have been on. Other then camping, and I know camping counts as vacation. But I am excited for San Diego! I am so excited for my kids to see the ocean! I love the ocean and I think they will too. Brandon has never been to San Diego either and I think they will all love it. Sea World is going to be SO much fun! Only 3 days till we go, I really need to get us all ready!

Doggy door baby

Chelsea has officially figured out the doggy door. She has gone out it with her brother before. But this afternoon the 2 of them were playing and Chelsea wandered away. I went to look for her after a minute and realized that she was not in the house anywhere. Having already gone through this stage with Zach I didn't freak out. I knew right away where she was. So I wandered outside and TADA! Chelsea is outside running around with the dogs. With no pants on. It was so dang cute though. Its a good thing we have a fully fenced back yard. We all hung out outside for a bit. I set up her swing on the swing set and let her try it out. She seems to really enjoy it!

How to catch an alligator

We were driving home tonight and the car was quiet for a minute. Zach cant stand quiet, he has to fill it. So we are all sitting there and he pipes up, "Hey, do you know how to catch an alligator?" I said, No I don't know! So he told me:

First you let him see you and then he will come after you. When he comes after you you put some food out for him. The food makes him nice and then you can catch him.

And that is it. If you are looking to catch an alligator, you now have precise directions. 

Karate

Zach is in karate right now and it is seriously the cutest thing. I love going and watching him. He has been asking me for months to let him go to karate. I took him to one place that had a "free session" and I about passed out. It was 200 bucks a month with a 2 year contract, all paid up front. But that was 3 group classes a week and 1 private session a week. Seriously, he is 4!! 

I signed him up through the community education thing with Granite School district. It is very low key, and 30 bucks for 2 months. Plus I don't have to buy him all the get up and stuff which is nice because that stuff adds up quick, even though it would be fun to see him in it.

He is not going to win star pupil in his class I am afraid. He is much more interested in goofing off then listening to his teacher. He and I had a talk about it last week after class and he did much better this week but still gets antsy. 

He is almost the tallest kid in the class, I think there is one girl a little taller then him in the class. And he is one of the youngest. Bad combination. People don't understand why he is acting like one of the younger kids when he is so obviously older. I feel bad for him for that, he is going to deal with it his whole life. 

He does love it though! They got to break boards today and he got a huge kick out of that! 

Chelsea has learned Patty Cake. She is cute, I love when she does ROLL IT! She looks like a little disco queen!

Have I mentioned lately that I think I have the cutest kids ever??

Preschool

I went with Zachs class on their field trip today. It was so much fun. They went hiking. I adore his school, I don't know many schools that go hiking for a field trip. They go on field trips every 3 weeks or so and they always do such fun things. I am kind of sad that it is only preschool and his whole school career cant be as cool.

Next year I am signed up to be in charge of all the Scholastic stuff. I am so excited! I love Scholastic. I order every single time it comes up! I get to run the book fairs and talk people into ordering. YAY! 

Speaking of books, I think we might walk to the library now.

ShamWow makes you say WOW! Everytime!

My son is an infomercial goober, in case you didnt already know. For show and tell at school today, he took his ShamWow! He was so excited about it. He couldn't wait to show his friends his ShamWow. I had to stay and watch show and tell today because I couldn't miss him showing off his ShamWow. Its not exactly an every day show and tell item! When it was his turn the teacher asked him what he brought and he said "Its my SHAMWOW!" Unfortunately his teacher didn't know what ShamWow is so it wasn't quite as much fun. The conversation went like this:

 T - "What do you do with a ShamWow?" 

Z - "You clean stuff with it!" 

T - "What kind of stuff?" 

Z -"Everything!" 

T - "Like a car?" 

Z- "Or a boat!!" 

T - "Do you have a boat?" 

Z - "No." 

T - "So, in case you get a boat??" 

Z - "YEP!"

It was pretty funny. I got a kick out of it. My kid is one of a kind and I love it! 

That ShamWow sure came in handy though! When I went to pick him up after school they had filled the sandbox with water. So the kids could make sandcastles and moats and stuff. Zach was of course playing right in the middle of it next to one of his friends. I crouched down in front of him and was telling him that it is time to go. And mid-sentence, Rex's shovel caught a rock. So he yanked at it. And all the mud and water sloshed through the air. Can you guess where it landed?? On the person sitting right in front of him. That would be ME! I had mud in my hair, on my face, ALL over my clothes! I am pretty impressed with the coverage he got out of it! I was dumbfounded by it! I honestly just sat there without moving for 10 seconds. Then I realized I was holding Zachs show and tell. ShamWow to the rescue!! I was still covered but at least I wasn't dripping! 

I didn't even have time to shower after that. My day was too packed! After preschool we went and dropped our dogs off at the groomers. (BTW, don't use PetsMart! They are expensive!) They now have such pretty haircuts! 

I took the kids to Winder Dairy today, they were having an Earth Day carnival. It was kind of a cheesy carnival, I was expecting more. But I think that is because the last carnival I went to there was huge. It was still a ton of fun. We went with Rachel and La Dayna, I pretty much have fun anytime I hang out with them though! It was dang hot though! I cant believe that is was almost 85 degrees (at least according to my car!) We were all sweating! But the kids had fun, they all got their faces painted which was cute. Zach is on a big Earth kick. He wants to see Earth from space really bad. But he doesn't want to be an astronaut, he wants to be a race car driver! =) So he got an Earth painted on his face. He loves telling people about it too. He says I got and Earth because it is Earth day! Chelsea got a cute little flower. She picked a daisy but the kid does not sit still long enough for anything intricate! Her flower is still very cute. And I got a heart painted on Lydia. I love face painting. I think everyone should get their face painted at every carnival! Of course, I was the only one who didn't get my face painted today! But that was a lack of time. I had to go pick up Joe and ran short on time. Oh well, next time I will paint it up! 

I have super cute pictures of it but I cant seem to find my camera right now. I will add them as soon as I figure out where it is. 

I am going to go watch Scrubs now! 

How do I....

How do I pimp my blog?? I just have one of the basic layouts they offer and so many other people have such freaking adorable ones. I want to personalize mine more but I can not for the life of me figure out how!

Dinkus and the Badguy

I chopped my hair! Not just a little bit but a lot. I was on a serious kick that I wanted to grow it out and I have been for some time. But it got so long and SO heavy. I seriously couldn't do anything with it. I would curl it and a couple hours later all the curls had fallen out. I would straighten it and a couple hours later it would be wavy. I was frustrated with it! The other night I was flipping through a magazine and saw a woman on one of the pages and I said "thats what I want!" So I tore it out and took it to Kelly, who I adore! It isn't exactly the same as the picture I saw but I am so happy with it. I do really wish it had been long enough to donate, which was my goal, but I couldn't take it anymore. I think I may be getting too old to let my hair be quite that long... 

                BEFORE     

                                             

AFTER

On another note, I tried to kill ALL my fish today! I picked up the fish food and the lid wasn't on all of the way and the whole thing of it fell out of my hands and filled the tank. It was horrible. There were just mountains of food all over the tank. I am pretty sure it would have poisoned them! So I had to get all the stuff out and clean the tank. I am going to have to clean it again tomorrow because there is still so much food in there. Of course, Brandon thought it was HILLARIOUS. He made fun of me all day long. He is not as funny as he thinks. In case you were wondering! 

Zach told me today that our life is a movie. I asked him what our movie was called. He told me that it is called "Dinkus and the Badguy." and he is Dinkus and I am the Badguy. That warms the heart! Being the bad guy in your kids movie! At least I get a starring role! 

A party, moms house and poop.

We had a good day today. We went to a very fun birthday party at Gymboree. I couldn't believe that 4 kids from 9 months to 4 years could all have so much fun at one birthday party. But it happened! Every one of them had a great time. 

After the birthday party I went and hung out at my moms house while Brandon helped Joe and Randi move. Its pretty funny that a couple of years ago Zach was the only kid ever at my moms. Today there were 5 little kids running around her living room! My mom is so amazing, she loves all of them. If you walked in you would never guess which were her grandkids and which weren't. I love how stinkin sweet she is! 

While we were at my moms, Ezri had a nasty nasty blowout. She was playing outside and came up to the door crying and said " I pooped in my shoe! " Yeah. Not fun. It was incredibly disgusting. She had poop all the way down both legs and puddled in her shoes. Did I mention, ICK! Randi gave her a shirt to wear home because she had poop on her dress. She adores the shirt Randi gave her. It is all flowing and fairy looking. 

4 sleeping kids.... finally....

Today has been a very long day! It started when Brandon was making eggs and bacon this morning and I asked if he would make enough for me. He came over rubbed my tummy and said "Really?" And it has gone on from there. Nothing big and bad happened, just all of the little things that manage to make a person crazy. Brandon has had a short fuse all day, Zach has been extra crazy all day, and I have been easily irritable all day. That makes for a very bad combination. 

I am watching Lucian and Ezri this weekend. Jim is going to Vegas with Lillian, it is her 21st birthday. I hope they have a fantastic time! Lucian and Ezri are good kids. It isn't too bad having them around. Although there is a reason I don't have 4 kids! I don't think I am cut out for it! They have only been here for a couple of hours today, tomorrow will be interesting! 

Ezri has changed so so much since Sarah died. I cant believe how different she is. She used to be crazy and loud and wild. Now she is a very quiet kid. She still loves to play with the other kids but it doesn't seem as whole heartedly as before. I am so very sad for her. I think it hit her harder then we realize it could hit a 2 year old. 

The highlight of my day today was at dinner. Zach told me about the monster that lives at our house. It seems that we have a monster living in our laundry room. His name is Zoonka. He is a bad monster because he eats our laundry. ( I personally am all for a monster that eats the dirty laundry! That means I don't have to wash it. ) He only eats the laundry because he is hungry. He likes bananas. He also enjoys watching Qubo. 

Have I mentioned that I adore my kids??

Boring day....

We have had a pretty dull day today. Just hanging out at home. Sometimes that is exactly what I need though!

My kids are getting sneakier. Chelsea is old enough that they have started working together. I thought that would be a good thing but it turns out, not so much! They were upstairs playing today and it was very quiet so I wandered up. They had pulled EVERYTHING out of the lazy susan. Zach looked up and said, "Look Mom, we are having a tea party!" The kid has an imagination, that is for sure! I really couldn't get mad, they were so cute playing Tea Party together. And both so happy! I love that they play with each other. 

Other then that it has been a mild day! My highlight of the day, I watched last nights episode of Scrubs online. I do love Scrubs! 

Getting the hang of it

It seems like I am the last person alive to get into blogging. I figure I should give it a shot! After all, I have so much to say and no other audience!