Thursday, January 13, 2011
dog threw up on the carpet in the middle of the night, staining it again. this time where i cant put a rug over it. not losing weight on my diet as fast as i hoped. so tired of salad already. chelsea and i have been butting heads since we woke up. she fights with me about everything and if she doesn't get her way she has started having temper tantrums. frustrated with the wedding and its not even mine, in fact i'm so uninvolved that i'm lucky i know the date. cant describe how much i hate hearing my mom cry and not being able to do anything to help. have to go buy shower invitations but dread having to take my children with me. fine with brandon having to work nights but its so hard to keep my very loud kids quiet all day so he can sleep. except the part where i'm not fine with it because i don't sleep worth crap when i have to sleep alone. forgot to defrost chicken for dinner. tried to take zach to the store to exchange clothes he got for christmas that were too big, he didn't want to go with me. feeling left out and forgotten, like there is a big joke and im the punchline. my head hurts and my eyes are red and puffy from crying because i don't know what to do. don't know if i have ever know what to do since so much of what im doing seems to be wrong.