Your biggest regret in life

Regrets. They are funny things aren't they? And somehow they have become taboo to have. We seem to live in a society that refuses to accept regrets at all. If you ask almost anyone what their regrets are in life they will all tell you the same thing, 'my choices made me who I am, if I changed anything it would change my life now'. Ok, yes that is true. But here is the thing, I'm not a fairy godmother, I don't even KNOW any fairy godmothers. I'm not offering to change your past for you. Why is it so hard to look at our lives honestly and say 'yeah I screwed up back then' They say hindsight is 20/20 but it seems pretty blind to me. Over the summer I got into watching a Canadian show called Being Erica (or something like that) and its about a woman who gets to go back and change her regrets without it changing her current life. It made me think about what I would change given the same chance. When I said something about it on facebook, there was a big reaction. Saying you have regrets, no matter how small, makes people think you are saying you are unhappy now. I don't know why that has to be the case. 

My BIGGEST regret in life is not traveling when I had the chance. I've always wanted to see the world. I was given luggage as a graduation gift because it was my plan, its all I was passionate about. I wanted to go everywhere. And I could have. I planted myself in a job that gave me flight benefits. But I didn't utilize them. I even knew at the time that one day I would regret it. But there was always a reason. I didn't have anyone to travel with, I didn't have the money, I didn't have the money... (yeah I know I said it twice but I said it a lot more then) But now I think, I could have traveled cheap, I could have gone alone or invited ANYONE to go with me. They were cop-outs. And now the opportunity is gone and I never answered when it knocked. I truly regret not seeing more of the world when I could have. Luckily, I still think I can some day. I hope to have flight benefits again one day and when I see the world, I may still have to do it cheap but I wont have to worry about going alone! 

A book I could read over and over again

Well, I love to read. And I am forgetful. So I read a lot of books and I reread a lot of books and they are like new to me!

My favorites though, in no particular order...

A Walk to Remember. The first Nicholas Sparks book I read. A really long time ago, before he was so popular and before all of his books started being the same. I adore this book. Its sweet and sappy and sad. If you have seen the movie but not read the book then I suggest the book. It is very different, for one thing its set in the 50s. 

The Time Traveler's Wife. My sister in law gave me this book at my bridal shower. Its not one I probably would have read otherwise. But it is amazing and magical. I love the way it is written. The words sound like a poem to me. My copy is very obviously well read. I also have it on audio book just because I love the sound of the words so much. 

Wicked. I love fairy tales but even more I love fairy tale remakes. I love hearing them from a different point of view. Gregory Maguire has other books along the same lines but Wicked has always been my favorite. I adore Elphaba, she is so much more then the Wicked Witch. Its also quite haunting, there are a few parts that have really stuck with me which is pretty rare. 

The Book Thief. My #1 book that I think every person should read. It will tear your heart out. It is narrated by Death and he is telling a story set in Germany about Germans in WWII. Once again, another point of view and it is unexpectedly touching. If you haven't read it, DO! I'm going to go read it again right now.

Atonement. The first time I read this one, I got it from the library. I got about 3/4 of the way through it and then there were pages missing. I was so invested in the characters by then that I was devastated. All of their copies were out and I would have to wait to finish it. I just couldn't stand it. I went and bought it right then. And I have never regretted it. Its also set during WWII (it really is my favorite background in a story) and its  tells a story of a young girl who mistakes a situation and changes many lives really quickly. Its hard to explain without giving too much away. Its a great book too.

Ok, I could go on and on forever. Books are my real love. But I am going to stop here so I don't seem like a crazy person. 

Highs and lows of the last year

I have not been looking forward to this one. I do not want to revisit my lows.

Lets start with HIGHS. 

First thing that comes to mind...

Winning the Urban Challenge with La Dayna. We worked our tails off for that race. We put a lot of energy into it. When they announced the winners and we didn't get 2nd or 3rd I truly believed we just didn't quite make it. Winning first place was unexpected. I am still so proud of us for that. It wasn't easy but we came out on top. After so much energy into it, it was hard when it was over. I felt a bit empty. Now it is coming up again soon and I am getting excited for it! Did I mention we leave in 6 days for our grand prize trip?? A week in Akumal Mexico! Wooo!

Next high was taking my kids to DisneyLand. I have wanted to for so long. It was really exciting to go. It was really magical!

My brothers wedding. It was emotional. I adore my brother and I am glad he found someone who makes him so happy! 

Those are the big things. There are millions other things. We have done so many fun things this year, there is no way I could list all my highs. 

As for my lows, well, I had to deal with some things from my past and had to deal with people (mostly Brandon) learning some of my deep deep secrets. It was unexpected and it knocked me into a deep dark hole for longer then I would like to admit. In the end, it may be better that it came out. It let me deal with it a little bit. But I still wish that it hadn't come out.

My views on mainstream music

I love it. I love all music. It all has a time and a place. I'm rarely in a time or place for rap but other then that I like it all. I have sirius so I can listen to a lot of different types of music. Sometime I get a bit behind. I just pulled up the 5 songs right now... 

#1 right now. Its ok, don't love it don't dislike it. If its on, I don't change the station but I don't seek it out. 

#2. I really like this song. I really like Bruno Mars a lot. 

#3. I love Katy Perry. I think she is fantastic. And I really like this song. 

#4. One of my favorites right now! I say 'I work out!' all the time. 

#5. Gives me a good feeling! =)

So there ya go. I like mainstream music. I do think its all pretty similar and I have this whole rant about how if you are different you don't get a chance anymore. If Johnny Cash or Elvis wandered in today they would be turned away. Or turned into bubble gum stuff. That makes me really sad. But that is why I make sure to listen to stuff outside the mainstream also.

By the way, I think this is the dumbest day so far. 

15 interesting things about ME!

I don't know how interesting this is really. Lets see what I can come up with.

1. I was named after Crystal Gail because my Grandpa loved her long hair.

2. I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie. I love to do exciting things. Most exciting thing I have done is skydiving.

3. My middle name is Dawn, same as my mom and my lil girl.

4. I have driven cars, airplanes (mostly just taxiing but actually kinda flew one for about 10 seconds) and a train.

5. I'm a total movie junkie. I looooove movies.

6. The ocean is my happy place. I heart it.

7. I once had a dream that Brandon left me for a salesgirl at Dillards and woke up mad at him. He has never let me forget.

8. I will read just about any book. Its harder now with kids but I still try to read whenever possible.

9. I'm a vegetarian.

10. I'm not very interesting....

11. I have a tattoo of a crab on my foot. I really want more but its hard to justify the $$.

12. I've been a night owl my whole life and I'm trying to adjust to mornings for the first time in my life.

13. I think family vacations are ridiculously important. You spend quality time together, it helps you realize there is a whole world out there and its where so many memories are made.

14. I really enjoy cooking and baking. I like taking different things and turning them INTO something. I love to feed people.

15. I love to laugh. Saying someone is funny is the highest compliment I can give. I love love love physical comedies. If someone walks into a screen door on tv, I will laugh for 15 minutes. Or kid jokes, I'm such a nerd for them. It borders on embarrassing how funny I find it.

My earliest memory

 Today's post is my earliest memory. And I don't know. I don't really have any memories. I know thats weird but I very seriously cant remember most things. I will swear I have never been somewhere until someone shows me a picture. And not even of times long ago, it will happen for somewhere I went last year. I don't know why I cant hold a memory in my head. Its frustrating sometimes, embarrassing others. I get strange looks when I say I haven't done something and the person I am talking to says umm, yes you did, we did it together...

The best is talking to my little sister. She can remember every detail of everything. I usually end up wide eyed nodding along because I have no idea what she is talking about. I don't know how she remembers so many details. 

Brandon has theories about why its so bad, maybe they are true. Maybe they are not. Who knows. I cant leave the house without a list. I wont just forget what I need to go to the store for, I will forget what store I needed to go to. 

When I read that today was earliest memories Brandon just laughed at me and said, well, your screwed. Not very helpful but true. So once again, I am not following the guidelines of my challenge. But I am here and being honest, that counts more right?

Zach

We had a bit of a Zach day today. He is star of the week at school this week so I spent the morning going thought pictures to put on his poster for school. I love going through pictures, such a fun way to bring up fun memories.  

Star of the Week poster

After school Zach had his 7 year old check up at the doctor. He got weighed in, height checked and vision checked by the nurse. Then the first thing the doctor said when he walked in was 'So Zach, tell me, how long until you are taller then me?' Zach is literally off the charts. They have a chart prediction thing they do every time and it does not go high enough to measure Zach. At the very tallest on the chart he would be taller then me at 11. Brandon mentioned that he was a late blossomer (I was too) and the ped said that Zach will be even taller if he hits puberty late. We both figured it was the other way around. But he explained that he will keep growing until then then have his big growth spurt. So, long story short, Zach is still tall. 

After the docs we went to the Humane Society to take in Zachs donations. He was so excited for it. 

With his donations at the Humane Society

I called ahead and talked to a woman who works there. She made up a certificate to give him. She kept going on and on about how MARVELOUS he is. It was very sweet. Then she and a volunteer took him on a tour of the place and let him meet some of the animals he was helping. 

One of the puppies they got to meet

He really enjoyed the tour. He was told to come back anytime just to visit. They made him feel very special.

Zachs thank you certificate

I asked him after if it was worth not getting a ton of  presents to do this. His reply was 'TOTALLY! Helping the animals is way better'

I'm starting to think he has a career as a vet or something ahead of him. 

Somewhere you would like to move or visit

Ok, my list for where I would like to visit is very extensive so I am going to stick with the move part.

When I was younger, I wanted to move to every place I ever visited. My biggest one was San Diego though. Now that I am much older and slightly wiser, I am at home here. I don't have the constant desire to leave any more. I have let my roots sink in.

I heart Monterey Bay

 That said, I would still move to a beach, given the chance. Any beach at all but especially Monterey, CA. I love it there. When I am ultra-rich, my second home will be there. Its where I want my ashes scattered when I die. Its such a beautiful, wonderful place. I would love to be anywhere near the beach though. I have salt water in my veins. I crave it. I love the ocean.

The Tuscan hills, where my soul yearns to be. 

The other place I would pick up and live is Italy. Specifically Tuscany. When I was in 6th grade everyone had to write a report on a country. I picked Italy on a whim. The country I had wanted got chosen before my turn to pick, I cant even remember what country it was. So I learned about Italy, my mom even helped me make a map of Italy out of pizza for my visual display. It was awesome. I learned about Italy and I fell in love. I have been enamored ever since. I feel like its where my heart belongs.

These are the places I dream about when I dream of running away. When life starts weighing me down and I think we could start over somewhere else. Of course, it doesn't take long for me to remember I am right where I belong. But the dream is still there.