Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Something you miss

I miss people. There are some people from my past that I really miss. They were big in my life at some point and now they are not. And while I understand it, I do miss them. Some people disappoint you greatly in life and sometimes you have to make a decision about them. Are they worth keeping in your life? Are they adding or taking away from your happiness and your well being? Sometimes its not even your choice, life takes people out of your life. Its funny, writing this I am thinking about a lot of different people but one is kinda odd. There was a girl I knew in elementary school, I couldn't tell you what grade it was. But she was my friend. She lived on my street, at the other end. And she was weird. I was weird too. And I rarely made friends but she and I became friends. I remember her taking me to church with her one day. I wish I could remember what kind of church it was but I believe that was the one and only time I was ever happy in church. She had these church dollars that she had been saving up for their church store and she bought me a toy while we were there. I cant remember her name and she only lived there for a little while but I miss her.

I also miss working. I love being a stay at home mom and I know how hard Brandon works to allow me to do that. I just also miss work. I miss having somewhere to be that isn't about my kids. And I don't mean that harshly or snotty, work was just always really my identity. Now my identity is so wrapped up in my kids that sometimes I forget who I am. 

And right now I miss Brandon. He is so far away working so hard to support our little family. He is a great man and I love him. I wish he didn't have to go do things like this but I love that he will. I know its hard on him, as well as me and the kids, but he does it for good reasons. He takes such good care of us all. 

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A problem you have or have had

I am determined to finish this challenge. It has taken me much more then 30 days though. I was doing really great then we went to Mexico then Brandon left and it just seems hard to fit it in now. Dang it.

So, a problem I have. Lemme count the ways... I have it narrowed down to 2. Do I go serious or petty? Maybe I will just let you know them both. I owe you after being so bad finishing this challenge, right?

My serious one is awkwardness. I don't know what is wrong with me. I get around people and I lose brain function. I have been called shy so many times and lemme tell you, that isn't my problem. If I have something to say I will say it. (Ask the karate dad.) No issues. My problem is more that my mind will not come up with a single thing to say. I will sit there awkwardly and try to come up with something and it just doesn't happen. Then I get more awkward because I have made it awkward and I cant figure out how to fix it. Its not an intimidation thing, I'm not worried what someone is going to think about what I say. I am just missing a function that works for social situations. I can get up in front of a whole group of people and give a whole schpeel, its not a problem for me. Because you work it out ahead of time. Hell, I sold Slumber Parties and I was really good at it. I could tell you everything about every item and why you needed it and so many cool things. But I couldn't talk to you about anything normal, my idiot brain would just freeze right up. I'm awesome professionally. Personally, I suck. 
My other problem, and to me this is a HUGE problem! My stupid straight straight straight eyelashes!! UGH! I can not do ANYTHING to curl them. Makes me sick. I spend so much time with stupid eyelash curlers. They do so little but the little bit it helps actually seems worth it. I've had my eyelashes permed to try to help and it just did nothing. The night before my wedding I laid there, with this horrible awful spray on tan, and just thought I don't care what else happens, just let my eyelashes CURL! Of course it didn't happen.