Sleep or the lack of...

Sleep is so important, right? We all know it is. So why is it sooo hard to get any? I'm not the best sleeper under the best of conditions but when Brandon is gone, its nearly impossible to sleep. I don't really know why. Its not a nervous thing or anything like that. I just hate sleeping by myself. Usually its for a night or so when he is out of town and its no big deal. But now he has been gone for about 5 weeks and it is getting to me. I barely even TRY to sleep anymore. I've just given up on it. Last night it hit me, I was so very tired. I was so tired I was throwing up. (tmi I know but really it prompted the blog) I was physically ill from not sleeping. So I went to bed right after the kids did and fell to sleep right away. It was the best night sleep I have had since Brandon left. But now tonight, I can already feel that my body has no interest in sleeping. I don't want to get back to that point again but if I knew how to sleep at all I would be doing it. Most sleep medicine has an opposite affect on me. I end up wired and not sleeping for even longer. Melatonin makes me sleep, right away in fact. But I am spend the entire next day recovering from it. I get so groggy and cranky. It doesn't feel worth it unless necessary. 

Now Zach seems to be following in my footsteps. That is much worse for me then my own problems. I hate seeing him so tired and having bags under his eyes. When I wake him up in the mornings he tells me "I just barely fell asleep!" or "I've only been asleep for an hour! I'm so tired!" or "Mom, I haven't even slept yet!" Its so frustrating for me. I know what he is going through. I remember saying all of those things to my mom in the mornings when I was growing up. And I couldn't fix it then and I'm having the same problems now. I have set up a strict calm down time before bed to see if that helps at all. Now Zach gets home from school, watches wild kratts, has half an hour 'free time' and then he does his homework while I make dinner. After dinner its a bath and story time. Then bed. I got him a cd player and a classical music sleep cd. We are only on day 2 of this schedule but I am praying it helps him. I hate seeing him so sleepy every day. I don't want him to have this problem his whole life. 

Piper Down Night

Fanny Packin' Sister Wives! 

La Dayna and I had our fundraiser at Piper Down a few nights ago. I have been planning on blogging about it but seem to have been putting it off. I suppose I am afraid of sounding like a brat in it. So bear with me and remember thats  not my intention!

La Dayna and Andrew. On their phones...

 We have been working on this for quite awhile. I cant remember where the idea started but I am pretty sure it was La Daynas idea. I was really excited but a bit terrified of it. It was a big job. And lets be honest, we are 2 stay at home moms. We have ZERO connections. We were starting at nothing. And it was just the 2 of us. No committee. No event fund. Just 2 mom working hard. Not to mention that La Dayna has a lot of other things on her plate right now. And I am basically a single mom while Brandon is working in New Orleans. But we never even considered scrapping it. We put our hearts into it.

Awesome, supportive friends! 

We found a bar, we found a band, we found another band, we found donations for our raffle. Our goal was at least 3 prizes for each raffle. We ended up having 20 total. 10 for each raffle. And there were some amazing prizes. This was no small feat.

The day of the event we were both so excited and so nervous. We had high expectations for the night. The plan was that the bar would be charging $5 a person cover that would all go to us. I was thought this was going to be huge. I figured it would be the main fundraiser and our raffle would be basically a side thing to add on the top. My goal for the night was $1,000. And I thought it was realistic.

More awesome supportive friends!

I had a ton of fun. To be honest, I expect more people that we actually know. Everyone who came for us fit at a table. The people who came are amazing. I adore every one. I think its pretty fantastic to have such supportive people in our lives. I was feeling a little bad that a lot of the raffle names were coming from our table until I realized the reason they were coming from there was those are the people who bought the most raffle tickets!

On stage before the Folka Dots started. 

We heard two fantastic bands play. I am beyond pleased with the 2 bands who performed. They were both great and fun. If you ever get a chance to hear The Red on Black or The Folka Dots play, don't skip it!

We gave out our awesome prizes. The main event ended up being the love swing. More then one person was vying for it! They guy who one it was super adorable. I was pleased when it was him.

This dude REALLY wanted the love swing. In a big loud way. 

At the end of the night we went to collect the cover charge money. I was pretty excited about the cover. Like I said, as far as I was concerned, it WAS the fundraiser. But they didn't start the cover until 9 and everyone there had been there since before 9. We ended up getting $14 from the cover. It was a bit disheartening, to say the least.

Luckily, we did pretty well in the raffle. We ended up with a total of $449.48. I went ahead and tossed in 52 cents to make it $450. Its not a bad amount at all. Its a great start toward a fundraiser that hasn't even officially started yet. It wasn't our goal and it isn't going to get us our win on its own but its a beginning.

Now we have to come up with another fundraiser to add to this one! We are VERY open to suggestions!

$450 headed to Make-A-Wish!!

10 people, dead or alive, I would invite to dinner. With menu.

Ok, here we go! You know, I have been so excited and waiting for this one! But I haven't had a chance to get it done. Too much going on to give it the attention it deserves! 

1. Elvis - Because he is Elvis and he should be invited to everything, every time! 

2. Zooey Deschanel - When they make a movie of my life, I want her to play me. So I might as well try to get in good with her now. 

3. Neil Patrick Harris - Because he is legan-waitforit-dary! Plus he might break out into song at any moment. 

4. Kevin James - I think he is beyond hilarious. I love everything he does, outside of King of Queens.

5. Jason Bateman - Just cant go wrong there. 

6. Phil Keoghan - Get some tips for the Amazing Race. Plus, who would have cooler stories??

7. Mitch Hedberg - If you don't know who he is, google him. He was a hilarious stand up comic.

8. Heidi Newfield - I'd love to know what she was thinking leaving Trick Pony! (sob) 

~I am trying really hard to come up with more, I don't want to wimp out and say anyone I know, I'm counting them as obviouses. I really need some more women...~

9. This guy, from the Brothers Winn I don't know anything about him but he has a whole bunch of what you ought to know videos on youtube, they are quite entertaining. 

After much (not very much) thought I have picked the lucky final guest at our awesome dinner party. I really needed another female but I wasn't sure who to include. Having youtube up made me think of someone who would probably add to the night...

10. Jenna Marbles. I cannot tell you why but for some reason I really love Jenna Marbles. She is beyond insane and she is crude, which I don't usually like. But for whatever reason, I get a kick out of her. Although, I could do without the baby talk to her dogs...

I've been figuring out who for so long that I haven't given a thought to the menu. So I'm just going to have it catered. HA!

 

Something you miss

I miss people. There are some people from my past that I really miss. They were big in my life at some point and now they are not. And while I understand it, I do miss them. Some people disappoint you greatly in life and sometimes you have to make a decision about them. Are they worth keeping in your life? Are they adding or taking away from your happiness and your well being? Sometimes its not even your choice, life takes people out of your life. Its funny, writing this I am thinking about a lot of different people but one is kinda odd. There was a girl I knew in elementary school, I couldn't tell you what grade it was. But she was my friend. She lived on my street, at the other end. And she was weird. I was weird too. And I rarely made friends but she and I became friends. I remember her taking me to church with her one day. I wish I could remember what kind of church it was but I believe that was the one and only time I was ever happy in church. She had these church dollars that she had been saving up for their church store and she bought me a toy while we were there. I cant remember her name and she only lived there for a little while but I miss her.

I also miss working. I love being a stay at home mom and I know how hard Brandon works to allow me to do that. I just also miss work. I miss having somewhere to be that isn't about my kids. And I don't mean that harshly or snotty, work was just always really my identity. Now my identity is so wrapped up in my kids that sometimes I forget who I am. 

And right now I miss Brandon. He is so far away working so hard to support our little family. He is a great man and I love him. I wish he didn't have to go do things like this but I love that he will. I know its hard on him, as well as me and the kids, but he does it for good reasons. He takes such good care of us all. 

A problem you have or have had

I am determined to finish this challenge. It has taken me much more then 30 days though. I was doing really great then we went to Mexico then Brandon left and it just seems hard to fit it in now. Dang it.

So, a problem I have. Lemme count the ways... I have it narrowed down to 2. Do I go serious or petty? Maybe I will just let you know them both. I owe you after being so bad finishing this challenge, right?

My serious one is awkwardness. I don't know what is wrong with me. I get around people and I lose brain function. I have been called shy so many times and lemme tell you, that isn't my problem. If I have something to say I will say it. (Ask the karate dad.) No issues. My problem is more that my mind will not come up with a single thing to say. I will sit there awkwardly and try to come up with something and it just doesn't happen. Then I get more awkward because I have made it awkward and I cant figure out how to fix it. Its not an intimidation thing, I'm not worried what someone is going to think about what I say. I am just missing a function that works for social situations. I can get up in front of a whole group of people and give a whole schpeel, its not a problem for me. Because you work it out ahead of time. Hell, I sold Slumber Parties and I was really good at it. I could tell you everything about every item and why you needed it and so many cool things. But I couldn't talk to you about anything normal, my idiot brain would just freeze right up. I'm awesome professionally. Personally, I suck. 

My other problem, and to me this is a HUGE problem! My stupid straight straight straight eyelashes!! UGH! I can not do ANYTHING to curl them. Makes me sick. I spend so much time with stupid eyelash curlers. They do so little but the little bit it helps actually seems worth it. I've had my eyelashes permed to try to help and it just did nothing. The night before my wedding I laid there, with this horrible awful spray on tan, and just thought I don't care what else happens, just let my eyelashes CURL! Of course it didn't happen. 

$1,000,000 to spend

If I had a million dollars, what would I do with it? In really real life, I would pay off the house and then stash it away for college for my kids and other life things. I mean, really a million dollars isn't SO much money.

But for the sake of this blog I am going to write as though I have to spend it or lose it. 

I would still start with paying off the house. I dream of living mortgage free. It would be the biggest payoff long term. Having that much extra each month would be amazing. 

Next I would buy a big ass boat. I really like boats. I would also have to get Brandon a truck to pull it with. A big ass truck, obviously. =)

I would go to Italy. I really want to go to Italy. 

I would buy a vacation house somewhere. Brandon and I are always discussing where our first vacation house is going to be. It will be on a beach somewhere. I'm pretty sure I wont be able to pay it off with everything else I'm buying but pay a chunk toward it then make payments. With no house payment, its totally do-able.

I would also make a big donation. It would take some soul searching to decide where. I know Make-A-Wish would get a good check. Have to figure out where else to send it. I want my imaginary money to go somewhere that helps and doesn't get used up in 'administration'. I love Make-A-Wish because you can SEE that they are doing so much good.

So thats it I guess. I feel like it is still a weak list even though its imaginary. I'm a simple girl, I suppose.  

A person that fascinates me

Alright, I'm a few days behind. In part because things have been hectic and I needed to catch up. Also in part because I have zero idea what to write. 

I am stumped. Seriously. I just wrote a whole stupid post and deleted it because it was so NOT fascinating. I've had tough days but this one is throwing me. 

I don't know!!  So I suck today. I am not doing it. I thought about just skipping it and pretending I forgot but I'll be honest. I'm just not going to do it! Take that!