Why I'm Crabby

I am crabby. Very crabby. Most of my log-ins and such include crabby somehow, my blog is crabbymamma, when I (finally) get my tattoo, you guessed it, a crab. Zach always checks crab apples to see if they have a crab in them so he can give it to me. Why do I like crabs? Because I am a cancer. Being a crab is who I am. I love how much it spells me out.

Emotional and sensitive, ruled by their feelings. Run the whole gamut of emotions that come with the changing tides. - Ask my husband. Seriously.

Cancer is the "I feel" sign.

Like the crab, they have a protective shell of shyness or reserve to hide their great sensitivity and caution. This should not be interpreted as weakness, however, as they withdraw to gather strength.

Sympathetic and kind, they have a strong need to nurture. Extremely protective and will defend their loved ones against all odds. Home and family play a highly important role in their lives.

Usually connoisseurs of food and love to cook. (I love this one.)

Compelled to work hard to get ahead.

Require a lot of encouragement and appreciation.

Easily hurt.

Once they trust someone enough to show their feelings they are strong, loyal and protective.

Tend to hold on to the past, especially people. - This is the reason for this post. I was thinking about some of the people I have let go and how hard it is. It takes a lot for me to walk away from someone I love and it is hard all of the time, I think of these people a lot. I think I tend to walk away easily from people I don't love if they seem like they will hurt me in the future. Once I let someone in, it is so very hard for me to let them go.  

Valentines Day

I have just decided that I hate Valentines Day. It's a day to tell everyone you love them and its about pink and hearts and happiness. On paper, hands down my favorite holiday. And that's what makes me hate it. Instead of being my favorite its my least favorite. Instead of making me feel happy and loved I feel forgotten. I have never gotten a Valentines gift (except from my mom), or had the day made special for me in any way. Every year, for whatever silly reason, I expect it to be different. Is part of growing up, giving up?

Spiders

I have had a spider living on the ceiling of my bathroom for a while. He made a home in the corner above the shower head. I am retardedly afraid of spiders. I don't know why, in my head I know they are no big deal but when one is near me I get panicky. This one was ok, he stayed out of my bubble. I'll admit I stayed toward the other end of the shower but it was ok. Well, tonight he started to come down the shower wall. I, of course, freak out. I am a little embarrassed that when I call out for Brandon with panic in my voice he walks in and says "spider?" First thing I say every time is "dont kill it!" He just rolls his eyes. I told him that if he would just go back to his corner I would be ok. Brandon goes to wave him back and the spider just climbs on his hand. Brandon, being all manly, just takes him outside. I would freak out but whatever. Did I mention I was standing in the middle of the bathroom with my head covered in shampoo? Yeah, I'm awesome.

I hope the spider is ok and finds a new warm home. I don't want him to die. I'm a total live and let live person. If I could go my whole life without killing anything, even a bug, I would be super happy.

Good luck little spider!

80s dance

We went to a dance at Zachs school today, it was so much fun. They had an 80s theme so we got all dressed up. It is so weird to me that we were able to walk into kohls and find totally rad 80s gear without even really trying. In fact I think it might be harder to find not 80s clothes! I got a fantastic off the shoulder grommetted shirt for dirt cheap and it was my favorite part. I also had snakeskin leggings that I put with it. I was bodacious!  ;)   If course I had 2 pounds of eyeshadow and blush on too. I'm glad I dont have to do that every day.

Brandon really wanted an iron maiden shirt but we couldn't find one so he settled for an iron man shirt that looks left over from the 80s. He put a button down shirt over it with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of torn up jeans. Very Growing Pains!

Kids were a bit harder. I got Zach an almost neon blue rocker t-shirt and we gave him a mohawk, not easy since his hair has gotten so long but it looked cool. Chelsea wore a skirt that looked like we tore it off Rainbow Brite with tight and lacy folded down with her new purple sneakers. She picked a striped shirt to go with it and clashed horribly but she was happy.

We all had a lot of fun. It's great to see people we see every day let loose and have fun. Zachs teacher was dressed up and that was fantastic. Leo and Silvia were there, 2 of Zachs favorite people at school. I think Chelsea has a little crush on Leo. She always talks about him and tonight she just followed him around. When she wasn't following Leo she was following Terry. I was starting to think we might have to send her home with one of them.