Monday, January 25, 2010

Traveling to nowhere

Warning: This is very ramble-ey

(I know this post is really whiney and long and makes little sense. I am having a hard time not erasing it but I will post it. Just ignore it if you want to.)

(Brandon and me in Hawaii. Yes I know I am using a vacation picture to whine about never going on vacation but it makes me feel better. Plus we were using some one elses flight benefits!)

I miss my flight benefits. I don't know why its hitting me right now but it is. I had them for nearly 5 years and really never went anywhere. I was broke and had no one to go with so I wasted them. The funny thing is, even when I was wasting them I knew I would regret it. All I ever wanted to do was go everywhere and see everything, is that too much to ask?? When I was growing up all I wanted to do was be a flight attendant. Go see amazing things but have a home base near my family. When I graduated high school my mom gave me luggage because she knew thats what I wanted to do. Through high school I worked at Starbucks, in the airport. Because I though working IN the airport would help me work FOR the airlines. Then I got a god awful job with a god awful company doing reservations for an airline that didn't even really fly into SLC. I hated that job. So bad. I ended up at SkyWest. I loved my job there (most of the time). I got comfortable there. The plan was that when I turned 21 I was going to go for flight attendant but I was too comfy. I did start the paperwork for becoming a flight attendant though. I was so excited for it. I was finally going to do what I had wanted to do. Then I found out I was pregnant with Zach. Timing, right?? I would still have my flight benefits too except Brandons stupid job. I know I shouldn't complain when so many people don't have a job but I hate his job. He has no schedule which makes me have no schedule. I couldn't raise a baby and work when I didn't know when he would be coming and going. I love being a stay at home mom. I just wish stay at home moms could get flight benefits. There are so many places I want to see and am realizing I probably never will. So many places I want to take my kids but may not happen. Every time Brandon tells me "If you still had your flight benefits, we could go ____. Even if we just went for a couple days, would be fun." I just want to cry. If I still had my flight benefits we probably wouldn't use them much but we would be able to use them. Wouldn't have to fight for 1 vacation a year. And figure out where is close enough to drive too that the kids might enjoy. Could go on the trip I have been promised since I got married for my 5th anniversary. I could teach my kids that there is a whole world out there, so much history and life. When they learn about Ohio I could take them TO Ohio and show them that its a real place with real people and this is why it matters. Sounds stupid but its one thing I really wish I could do.


Coco said...

It'll happen. I promise!!

Mrs Mommy said...

I completely understand wanted what you don't have. I say the same thing, but in regards to money. If we had money we could go here or do that. But when I worked and we had way more money we didn't do any of it.

Hugs in hoping it still happens for you!

La Dayna said...

Well It's not much but we always have buddy passes you can use...