(I know this post is really whiney and long and makes little sense. I am having a hard time not erasing it but I will post it. Just ignore it if you want to.)
(Brandon and me in Hawaii. Yes I know I am using a vacation picture to whine about never going on vacation but it makes me feel better. Plus we were using some one elses flight benefits!)
I miss my flight benefits. I don't know why its hitting me right now but it is. I had them for nearly 5 years and really never went anywhere. I was broke and had no one to go with so I wasted them. The funny thing is, even when I was wasting them I knew I would regret it. All I ever wanted to do was go everywhere and see everything, is that too much to ask?? When I was growing up all I wanted to do was be a flight attendant. Go see amazing things but have a home base near my family. When I graduated high school my mom gave me luggage because she knew thats what I wanted to do. Through high school I worked at Starbucks, in the airport. Because I though working IN the airport would help me work FOR the airlines. Then I got a god awful job with a god awful company doing reservations for an airline that didn't even really fly into SLC. I hated that job. So bad. I ended up at SkyWest. I loved my job there (most of the time). I got comfortable there. The plan was that when I turned 21 I was going to go for flight attendant but I was too comfy. I did start the paperwork for becoming a flight attendant though. I was so excited for it. I was finally going to do what I had wanted to do. Then I found out I was pregnant with Zach. Timing, right?? I would still have my flight benefits too except Brandons stupid job. I know I shouldn't complain when so many people don't have a job but I hate his job. He has no schedule which makes me have no schedule. I couldn't raise a baby and work when I didn't know when he would be coming and going. I love being a stay at home mom. I just wish stay at home moms could get flight benefits. There are so many places I want to see and am realizing I probably never will. So many places I want to take my kids but may not happen. Every time Brandon tells me "If you still had your flight benefits, we could go ____. Even if we just went for a couple days, would be fun." I just want to cry. If I still had my flight benefits we probably wouldn't use them much but we would be able to use them. Wouldn't have to fight for 1 vacation a year. And figure out where is close enough to drive too that the kids might enjoy. Could go on the trip I have been promised since I got married for my 5th anniversary. I could teach my kids that there is a whole world out there, so much history and life. When they learn about Ohio I could take them TO Ohio and show them that its a real place with real people and this is why it matters. Sounds stupid but its one thing I really wish I could do.