Love after Love by Derek Walcott

The time will come 
when, with elation 
you will greet yourself arriving 
at your own door, in your own mirror 
and each will smile at the other's welcome, 

and say, sit here. Eat. 
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart 
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you 

all your life, whom you ignored 
for another, who knows you by heart. 
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, 

the photographs, the desperate notes, 
peel your own image from the mirror. 
Sit. Feast on your life. 

Birthday BBQ Bash

I have had such an amazing weekend. Saturday was Brandon and my annual Birthday BBQ Bash. I personally think it was the best one we have had. Of course that had less to do with us and more to do with the amazing people we had there. Most of my favorite people in the world were there. It really was a blast. Brandon got a smoker for his birthday and used that to make a ton of ribs and chicken. He did such a great job. The food was EXCELLENT. 

We had a pinata for the kiddos. That was fun. They all seemed to really enjoy it. It was full of all kinds of prized that I let Zach and Chelsea pick out. They really wanted bouncy balls in it and the only ones we could find at the party store were tiny or expensive so I took the kids and a pocket full of quarters to Old Navy and hit up their bouncy ball machine. I'm sure they thought I was crazy but then again I probably wasn't the first to do it!

Brandon and I got SOOO many great gifts. We really appreciate all of them. The best thing ever though HAS to be my super awesome crabby fanny pack from La Dayna. There is no way to top it. I think I will be picked for the Amazing Race just so they can see more of my AMAZING fanny pack!

Did I mention I made 2 giant pitchers of Sangria too?? 

Thanks to everyone who came and made my (and Brandons) birthday so special this year. It really was fantastic. 

Princess Chelsea and the Princess Festival

I took Chelsea to the Princess Festival today. We had SO much fun. They have a "show" where all of the little princesses who are visiting have to save all of the Princesses from the evil Winter Fairy and her sisters Spring Fairy, Summer Fairy and Autumn Fairy. Its so sweet. Chelsea was a bit nervous around the Princesses but both my kids get that way around characters for some reason. They also had a treasure hunt where we had clues and had to figure out what princess or booth the clue meant then have them sign it. The last one is Prince Charming who tries a special shoe one the little princesses foot to make sure that she is a REAL princess then because she is she gets a special book from him. The book is the story of Princess Ilissa and is basically a story about how the festival started. Its a great story.

We were also able to just wander around an meet the princesses. They had the Little Mermaid, which is Chelseas favorite, and Chelsea got to play in the fountain with her. You could jump on a trampoline and "fly" with Tinkerbell and Peter Pan. Alice and the Mad Hatter were having a tea party. Winafred from the Princess and the Pea was letting little girls sit on her stack of mattresses. She said she took the pea out though because she didn't want to bruise all of the little princesses.

Chelsea had a name tag on and everyone who was volunteering there would say something like "Oh Princess Chelsea, I have heard wonderful stories of you!" or something to that affect and bow or curtsy because you ALWAYS bow or curtsy for royalty.

She got to make a few crafts. Made a crown, a wand and a purse. She could have had her hair done into an updo but she said she didn't want to.

We had such a fun time. I think this may have to become an annual tradition for me and Princess Chelsea!

Fathers Day

I want to say happy fathers day to some of the special dads I know.

Brandon... You are such a great dad. I couldn't ask for anyone better. I am really glad you are my partner in raising our children. They both adore you so much. Its beautiful to watch. I love you so much!

Ted.... I am so thankful to have you in my life. Your funny and sweet. You make my mom happy and that means everything. Not to mention how much my kids love you. I love you!

Jay... Such an amazing father in law. I couldn't ask for anyone better. I know that I could count on you for anything. Thank you for being so great to me. I love you.

Dad... I cant believe it has been so long, over a decade. You taught me so much and protected me. In fact the last time I talked to you, you offered to kick the ass of my boss I was having issues with. I love you.

Happy Mothers Day!

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.

Happy Mothers Day to all of the amazing moms I know. Being a mom is such a hard job and I know so many woman who do it so gracefully.

My mom is the first. My goal as a mom is to be as great of a mom as you are. I honestly don't know how you did it. You always had such a full plate but never let anything or anyone slip through the cracks. I talk to you every day and am thankful for you every day. You are my rock when things are hard. You are the person I call when I think something is funny. You help me through when I am sad. I take my anger out on you occasionally because I know you will always forgive me. You show me I am wrong when I think I cant do something. You raised 3 strong, caring, productive kids. And you did it through so many struggles. Struggles I only imagine in my worst dreams.  You are one of the bravest and strongest women I have ever met and I am SO proud to say you are MY mom. I love you Mom! Happy Mothers Day!!    

There are so so many others wonderful moms in my life. I cant possibly name them all. 

La Dayna, one of the most patient and sweet moms I know. You care so much, not only about your own kids but about everyone elses kids too. I love that you stick to your morals and your ideals. I think you are such an amazing mom. I hope you know how great you are too.

Sandee, I couldn't ask for a better mother-in-law. I know without a doubt that I can come to you if I have any problem. You are such a wonderful mom. You have 3 kids who prove it every day. I am so thankful to have you as part of my life.

Cindy, you do so much for you kids and it shows. You have a great sense of humor. Your kids are growing up to be so great. I am so honored to have them as my niece and nephew.

Tami, who is close enough to being a mom. I am so happy for you. I know that your baby is going to be one of the most loved babies ever born. I cant wait to see what kind of mom you are but I have no doubt that you will be amazing. 

So many other moms I know, whether I see them at school or I am friends with them or just pass by them. I see so many amazing traits every day and I continue to learn every day about what it means to be a good mom. If its giving up what you want so they can have what they need, lifting your life up for your baby even though people had given up on you, staying late at school so your kids can play for "2 more minutes!", leaving a job that you love to be with a baby you love even more, staying at a job you hate to make ends meet for you family. 

I hope all of the moms I know have an amazing Mothers Day. And even if you don't, know that you are loved for all that you do.  

Ghosts

Ok, I admit it. I am a huge believer of ghosts. I don't have many solid beliefs, I don't know what happens after our lives. I honestly think we aren't meant to know. I don't spend a lot of time pondering that.  But I DO believe in ghosts.

When my dad died I remember one night sitting up by myself, it was the next night or the night after that. My mom came out and found me. We sat in my Grammas living room talking for awhile. All of the sudden, in the middle of the night, no one around, we both heard music. It sounded like it was coming out of the heater vent. We both heard it at the exact same time and just stared at each other. It was beautiful music. Just out of nowhere.

Anyway, we had a ghost living in our house. When I first moved in, I was pregnant with Zach and every now and then when I took a shower I heard a baby crying. I figured it was crazy pregnant brain stuff. But after Zach was born I would always take my showers while he was napping. I cant tell you how many times I got out of the shower because he was crying only to find out that he was still sound asleep. I asked Brandon about it and he would hear it all of the time too. He was a non-ghost believer and tried to rationalize it away. It didn't take long for him to start believing though. I learned when I hear a baby crying, sticking my head out of the shower would let me figure out if it was my baby or not. We didn't put a lot of thought into it really. Just one of those things. I figure a baby or a kid drown in the tub there at some point. I haven't looked into it really. I don't think I want to know specifics, what with my bleeding heart and all.

The reason for my post tonight is, I was showering and realized I haven't heard crying in awhile. My ghost baby seems to have moved on. I'm letting myself think that my kids helped that happen. I hope that the ghost baby is very happy somewhere. =)

Star of the Week

Zach was star of the week at school last week. He was so excited about it. Star of the week gets to pick what activities they do and stuff. Plus on Thursday they have a big presentation about them. His teacher, Terry, asked him at the beginning of the week what his favorites were in a few categories then made him a fantastic poster. The whole class learns about his favorite things then on Thursday they all say what they are. Its really cute. Brandon, Chelsea, my mom, sister and I all went to watch. 

First they do the favorites, then Terry gives him his poster.

After that all the kids go around and say what they like about him. Its really cute. He got a lot of "he is gentle" "he is kind" "i like how he plays superheros with jaxon" It was sweet. I love to hear what they come up with! The kids also write down what they like about him as homework and bring it in so they don't all say whatever the first kids said. After the kids are done, everyone who came with him gets a turn. So me, Brandon, Coco and BooBoo all got a turn. Terry got a kick out of the fact that Zach calls his gramma Coco and his aunt Booboo. 

Zachs poster

His favorites are:

# - 5

Color - Blue

Planet - Neptune

When he grows up - Race car driver then astronaut

Animal - Dog

Treat - Suckers

Food - Chicken Fried Rice

Shape - Square and Oval

Book - Batman

Movie - Spiderman

Favorite thing to do at school - Play superheros with Jaxon

Favorite place - School

Favorite season - Spring

I put all of the kids notes on the back of his poster then had it laminated. He is very excited about it. 

Zach got to pick the next star of the week, its random - he picked a popsicle stick out of a glass - and he picked JAXON. He was so excited to pick one of his favorite friends.