Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Spiral

I made my best friend when I was 4 years old. She was my best friend through high school, with the exeption of childish fights. She was basically my sister. She spent more time at my house then hers. We were always together. I sometimes think thats why I have such a hard time making friends now, its was so easy with her. It was like we were made to be best friends. She got married when she was 16 and moved away. I was honestly devestated. I missed her so much. We wrote letters and called each other long distance (insert old jokes here) but we were never as close again. She was married and having babies and I was, well, not. I went and visited once, in Minot ND, when she found out she was pregnant with her first baby. She was homesick and scared so I bought a ticket and went out. I think thats when I realized how different we were by then. I had a hard time when I got home from that trip. She started avoiding me when she came to visit after that. Every time she came to visit I would get so sad that she made sure to not see me. Her mom lived 3 houses away from me, like I wouldn't know.

A few years later she moved back and I thought we might go right back to being so close. I had Zach and was about to get married. Thought things were going to be great again. We saw each other a few times and it was so weird. We didn't have anything to talk about, just sat there pretty uncomfortable. We both kinda gave up then I think. Then a while later, when I was in Costco, my mom called and said that Emily had a heart condition and was in the hospital. I was so upset. I had a meltdown in Costco. When we went back about a month later the cashier saw me and came over and asked if I was ok. I had always thought we would be best friend again and we were just on one of our "breaks". She was ok and we still didn't become good friends again but we started talking again.

A couple summers ago she called me and said she was leaving her husband and was so upset. I told her we would help however we could. She got an apartment and we got her a bunch of stuff for it and helped her move. Her couch was too big to get into the apartment so I put her couch in my garage (couldn't get it into my house either, thing was giant) and let her take my couch from my basement. I did all I could for her during that time. I saw her almost every day. She didn't have her kids, she left them with her husband. I didn't understand why. She only saw them a little bit during the entire time. She told me she really wanted to go to the zoo so I took her and my kids and some friends to the zoo. As soon as we got there she said never mind, I want to go home. I was so frustrated. I left Brandon at the zoo with everyone while I took her home. Later that day, when I went to pick her up for my sisters birthday party she reeked of pot. Everyone at dinner talked about it after. I started to realize then why she didn't have her kids.She asked for money all of the time. Would ask if she could sell us stuff then buy it back later. Stuff like that. One of her friends called me in the middle of the night one night because Emily was drunk and so upset and needed me. She was a mess. Not long after that she went back to her family. And I became a bad guy. She sent her husband to bring all my stuff (well, some of my stuff) back and to get her couch. I don't know what she said to him but he was very angry with me. Her brother, who I have know his whole life, didn't want to talk to me at all. I didn't understand how it got ugly like that. I still dont. We have not spoken since then. When they brought my stuff back I just put it all in the garage to deal with later. When I went out, I realized that not only did I not have the cushions for my couch but someone had vomitted all over the arm of it and they had positioned pillows so we wouldn't know. I have been angry with her for a long time for treating me so awfully when I had done everything for her through the whole ordeal. I am still angry, in all honesty.

I have heard some things about her since then. She split up with her husband again, took her kids hostage once apparently. Started doing a lot of drugs.

Today she was arrested. I'm not going to relay the whole thing on here the story is on the news website here.

It still gets me. She was the person I was closest too for such a big part of my life, I cant turn off that it still hurts me. I am so sad for her. She has 3 kids, how can anyone walk away from that? I understand that you dont think clearly when you are doing drugs and you make bad choices. How do you make the choice to start doing drugs when you already HAVE 3 kids? How can someone throw that away?? I don't understand.

2 comments:

Coco said...

I love you. You can't imagine doing something like that, because you are such a good person. Emily has always been self centered - but, you could never see that because you loved her, like you always love everyone - with your whole heart. That is why you always hurt so bad when someone lets you down like she does/did you - because your heart is so huge, it breaks that much bigger. I love you and I'm sorry that she has let you down - but, she has let everyone down, especially herself.

La Dayna said...

That is so horrible!
I'm sorry that she did that to you and even more sorry that she has done this to her children. I don't understand how a woman could ever just walk away from her babies.
I hope someday she will come to her senses.