Diet world

I was reading a few other blogs tonight and noticing a theme. Diets. As I read each and every one my thought was "she is too hard on herself." Flash forward an hour as I'm getting in the shower and berating myself for eating like a pig today and if I keep it up I'll always be fat. Yeah, awesome. Except what I ate today was a bowl of special k for breakfast, a side salad at lunch, a veggie burger for dinner and granola for a snack. For that I am beating myself up. Did I mention that we were out riding bikes all evening? Not sitting around staring at the tv. Riding bikes. Ridiculous. Why are we all doing this to ourselves. The worst part is, I decided to stop doing this to myself already. I changed my lifestyle and as part of that I decided that I was going to stop worrying about "being fat" and diet and such. I'm actually ok with myself for the first time since having kids. Would I rather look like the cute 110 pound 22 year old I was? Hell yes. Do I deserve to be called a fat pig because I don't look like that? No. What the hell? I made 2 people! That changes things! But it's so engrained in me to beat myself up that I don't notice when I do it anymore. Sooo not the keys to happiness there. I'm working on it though. I hope you other girls out there do too. Because I think you are too hard on yourselves!!

What if I matter??

Do you ever feel like you don't matter? Like you are the bottom name at the end of a very long list? I felt like that. Then I looked around and realized the only list I was on the bottom of was my own. My husband is great and never makes me feel like a second class citizen. My mom puts me on a stinkin' pedestal. Why was I complaining? Because if I'm last on my list, I might as well be last on every list. It made me an unhappy person and thats not good for anyone.  It was quite the realization for me.

So, I asked myself "if I mattered, what would I want?" the immediate answer was "I wouldn't eat meat anymore." I have said a million times that if someone said I couldn't eat meat ever again I would just say OK. No problemo. But what if I told me I couldn't eat meat anymore? Do I have the power to make that decision, ALL BY MYSELF?!? What if someone didn't like it? What if people made me feel weird about it? Ok, but, who cares?? I'm not asking anyone else to make allowances for me. I'm asking ME to make allowances for me. Thats hard for me to do. 

So I brave up the guts to tell my husband I want to start cutting meat out of my diet. I'm not asking him to just asking him to support me. Ok, first, I sometimes take it for granted but I have THE most supportive husband ever. He always backs me up. Its really awesome. When I realize it. Second, anyone who has met him, I'm sure, has the feeling he is a very meat and potatoes type of guy. Well, its somewhat true. But he is also a brussel sprouts and broccoli guy too. He gave me his full support.

So I dive into this and start cutting it out slowly. Trying not to say anything to anyone because I'm not ready for the questions and comments that come along with saying "I'm a vegetarian!" So I have only been cooking vegetarian food at home but not pushing it anywhere else. And I checked out a bunch of book at the library. The first one I read was "Skinny Bitch" its an quick read. Its 2 vegan women who wrote it. Its a fantastic book. I would recommend it to anyone. The consequence of reading it was that its pretty graphic. Especially about slaughterhouses. I've had nightmares since reading it. The second I read it I had no desire to EVER eat meat again. At all. I have what I like to call "delicate sensibilities" especially toward animals. It was hard for me to read but I decided I really had to. I'm glad I did. It made me really ok with my decision. 

I made this choice for ethical as well as health reasons. I cant speak for anyone else but I don't think my body is designed for meat. I think I will be much better off without it. I have never felt like I NEED meat. 

I am at peace with my choice. I'm not asking anyone else to be. Its for me, its about me. Thats good enough right now. So, if you are pissed that I wont eat a burger at your bbq I apologize now but in all honesty I wont really feel bad about it.

RIP Prissy

This is kinda long and drawn out but I wanted to put the whole story down so Zach could read it one day. Don't feel obligated to read it.

Zachs guinea pig died last night. She is our first non-fish pet to die so it was a big deal.

Zach got her as his special award for graduating preschool. He was so excited about her. He is very loving and sensitive and she was special to him. A pet that was only his. We adopted her with her sister at the humane society. Her sister is Zoey and belongs to Chelsea. Zach talked to Prissy all of the time and always wanted to let her out to play with her.

Last night I was putting Chelsea to bed and when I went in I saw Prissy was just laying on the bottom of the cage not moving but still breathing. I knew as soon as I saw her that she wouldn't make it through the night. I got our spare cage and cleaned it all out and put new bedding in it and moved her. I put food and water in with her just in case even though I knew she wouldn't need it. I then had to decide whether to go give Zach a heads up or wait until morning. I didn't want him to be up all night upset. Of course, I was up all night upset. I was so worried about how he would take it.

When he woke up in the morning he and I sat on the couch and I told him. He got very upset and teared up but didn't cry. He asked over and over again if I was sure and I said yes. He asked if I could find a magician to come bring her back to life and I told him that not even a magician could do that. We talked about heaven, we are not a religious family and this was the first time we had ever talked about heaven. Then we talked about burying her. He was not ok with that. We have skirted around death for a long time I guess. He had no idea about burying things or people who die. And he is a wildly claustrophobic person. More then anyone I have ever seen so burial seemed awful to him. It took a long time to convince him that it would be ok.

After a long talk I took him in to see her. She was in Chelseas room and we woke her up coming in. Now I had to tell her too. Now the night before I had been wishing hers died first. Sounds callous but Chelsea has thicker skin. She isn't emotional like Zach is. I thought it would be easier if hers went first, ease them into it. I never worried for a second about telling her. I honestly didn't think she would care. Then I went in and told her and she started sobbing. She cried and cried. It was awful.

I had Brandon go dig a hole and Zach stayed with me to get Prissy ready. Both kids made her a special I love you card. Zach wanted his in the box with her and Chelsea wanted hers in the hole. I put bedding into the box and Zach asked if he could put her in the box. I told him he could but when it was time he asked me to do it instead. Before I did he petted her for awhile and said goodbye. It was so sweet and broke my heart. He was all chocked up and trembling but didn't cry. He said "Goodbye Prissy. I will miss you forever and I will always love you as much as I ever did"  Then I put her in the box and he took it outside. He put the box in the hole Brandon dug and insisted on covering it himself. My little guy out there with that big shovel taking care of business. When he was done he said "Bye Prissy. I love you. I will see you in that place when I die."

He never cried once. He told me he didn't want to make Zoey more upset so he wouldn't cry. I told him it was ok to cry that Zoey was crying to in her own way. He still never did. He held it back even though it was right there all day. He did pretty good the rest of the day. Every now and then he would come say something to me about Prissy with tears in his eyes but most of the time was a normal day. When we got home, right before bedtime, we were walking to the door and he said "thats where Prissy is, over there" and then he went over and said "Goodnight Prissy. Don't forget to wait for me when I die. I'll miss you until then"

Tricks of the body

Tricks of the body

1. If your throat tickles, scratch your ear.

When you were 9, playing your armpit was a cool trick. Now, as an adult, you can still appreciate a good body-based feat, but you’re more discriminating. Take that tickle in your throat; it’s not worth gagging over. Here’s a better way to scratch your itch: “When the nerves in the ear are stimulated, it creates a reflex in the throat that can cause a muscle spasm,” says Scott Schaffer, M.D., president of an ear, nose and throat specialty center in Gibbsboro, New Jersey. “This spasm relieves the tickle.”

2. Experience supersonic hearing!

If you’re stuck chatting up a mumbler at a cocktail party, lean in with your right ear. It’s better than your left at following the rapid rhythms of speech, according to researchers at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine. If, on the other hand, you’re trying to identify that song playing softly in the elevator, turn your left ear toward the sound. The left ear is better at picking up music tones.

3. Overcome your most primal urge!

Need to pee? No bathroom nearby? Fantasize about Jessica Simpson. Thinking about sex preoccupies your brain, so you won’t feel as much discomfort, says Larry Lipshultz, M.D., chief of male reproductive medicine at the Baylor College of Medicine. For best results, try Simpson’s “These Boots Are Made for Walking” video.

4. Feel no pain!

German researchers have discovered that coughing during an injection can lessen the pain of the needle stick. According to Taras Usichenko, author of a study on the phenomenon, the trick causes a sudden, temporary rise in pressure in the chest and spinal canal, inhibiting the pain-conducting structures of the spinal cord.

5. Clear your stuffed nose!

Forget Sudafed. An easier, quicker, and cheaper way to relieve sinus pressure is by alternately thrusting your tongue against the roof of your mouth, then pressing between your eyebrows with one finger. This causes the vomer bone, which runs through the nasal passages to the mouth, to rock back and forth, says Lisa DeStefano, D.O., an assistant professor at the Michigan State University college of osteopathic medicine. The motion loosens congestion; after 20 seconds, you’ll feel your sinuses start to drain.

6. Fight fire without water!

Worried those wings will repeat on you tonight? “Sleep on your left side,” says Anthony A. Star-poli, M.D., a New York City gastroenterologist and assistant professor of medicine at New York Medical College. Studies have shown that patients who sleep on their left sides are less likely to suffer from acid reflux. The esophagus and stomach connect at an angle. When you sleep on your right, the stomach is higher than the esophagus, allowing food and stomach acid to slide up your throat. When you’re on your left, the stomach is lower than the esophagus, so gravity’s in your favor.

7. Cure your toothache without opening your mouth!

Just rub ice on the back of your hand, on the V-shaped webbed area between your thumb and index finger. A Canadian study found that this technique reduces toothache pain by as much as 50 percent compared with using no ice. The nerve pathways at the base of that V stimulate an area of the brain that blocks pain signals from the face and hands.

8. Make burns disappear!

When you accidentally singe your finger on the stove, clean the skin and apply light pressure with the finger pads of your unmarred hand. Ice will relieve your pain more quickly, Dr. DeStefano says, but since the natural method brings the burned skin back to a normal temperature, the skin is less likely to blister.

9. Stop the world from spinning!

One too many drinks left you dizzy? Put your hand on something stable. The part of your ear responsible for balance—the cupula—floats in a fluid of the same density as blood. “As alcohol dilutes blood in the cupula, the cupula becomes less dense and rises,” says Dr. Schaffer. This confuses your brain. The tactile input from a stable object gives the brain a second opinion, and you feel more in balance. Because the nerves in the hand are so sensitive, this works better than the conventional foot-on-the-floor wisdom.

10. Unstitch your side!

If you’re like most people, when you run, you exhale as your right foot hits the ground. This puts downward pressure on your liver (which lives on your right side), which then tugs at the diaphragm and creates a side stitch, according to The Doctors Book of Home Remedies for Men. The fix: Exhale as your left foot strikes the ground.

11. Stanch blood with a single finger!

Pinching your nose and leaning back is a great way to stop a nosebleed—if you don’t mind choking on your own O positive. A more civil approach: Put some cotton on your upper gums—just behind that small dent below your nose—and press against it, hard. “Most bleeds come from the front of the septum, the cartilage wall that divides the nose,” says Peter Desmarais, M.D., an ear, nose, and throat specialist at Entabeni Hospital, in Durban, South Africa. “Pressing here helps stop them.”

12. Make your heart stand still!

Trying to quell first-date jitters? Blow on your thumb. The vagus nerve, which governs heart rate, can be controlled through breathing, says Ben Abo, an emergency medical-services specialist at the University of Pittsburgh. It’ll get your heart rate back to normal.

13. Thaw your brain!

Too much Chipwich too fast will freeze the brains of lesser men. As for you, press your tongue flat against the roof of your mouth, covering as much as you can. “Since the nerves in the roof of your mouth get extremely cold, your body thinks your brain is freezing, too,” says Abo. “In compensating, it overheats, causing an ice-cream headache.” The more pressure you apply to the roof of your mouth, the faster your headache will subside.

14. Prevent near-sightedness!

Poor distance vision is rarely caused by genetics, says Anne Barber, O.D., an optometrist in Tacoma, Washington. “It’s usually caused by near-point stress.” In other words, staring at your computer screen for too long. So flex your way to 20/20 vision. Every few hours during the day, close your eyes, tense your body, take a deep breath, and, after a few seconds, release your breath and muscles at the same time. Tightening and releasing muscles such as the biceps and glutes can trick involuntary muscles—like the eyes—into relaxing as well.

15. Wake the dead!

If your hand falls asleep while you’re driving or sitting in an odd position, rock your head from side to side. It’ll painlessly banish your pins and needles in less than a minute, says Dr. DeStefano. A tingly hand or arm is often the result of compression in the bundle of nerves in your neck; loosening your neck muscles releases the pressure. Compressed nerves lower in the body govern the feet, so don’t let your sleeping dogs lie. Stand up and walk around.

16. Impress your friends!

Next time you’re at a party, try this trick: Have a person hold one arm straight out to the side, palm down, and instruct him to maintain this position. Then place two fingers on his wrist and push down. He’ll resist. Now have him put one foot on a surface that’s a half inch higher (a few magazines) and repeat. This time his arm will fold like a house of cards. By misaligning his hips, you’ve offset his spine, says Rachel Cosgrove, C.S.C.S., co-owner of Results Fitness, in Santa Clarita, California. Your brain senses that the spine is vulnerable, so it shuts down the body’s ability to resist.

17. Breathe underwater!

If you’re dying to retrieve that quarter from the bottom of the pool, take several short breaths first—essentially, hyperventilate. When you’re underwater, it’s not a lack of oxygen that makes you desperate for a breath; it’s the buildup of carbon dioxide, which makes your blood acidic, which signals your brain that somethin’ ain’t right. “When you hyperventilate, the influx of oxygen lowers blood acidity,” says Jonathan Armbruster, Ph.D., an associate professor of biology at Auburn University. “This tricks your brain into thinking it has more oxygen.” It’ll buy you up to 10 seconds.

18. Read minds!

Your own! “If you’re giving a speech the next day, review it before falling asleep,” says Candi Heimgartner, an instructor of biological sciences at the University of Idaho. Since most memory consolidation happens during sleep, anything you read right before bed is more likely to be encoded as long-term memory.

St Pattys Day

I think St Pattys Day is so much fun. We always make a big deal of it out our house. Our Leprechaun comes and plays tricks and leaves prizes. This year we tried to catch the leprechaun. The kids and I built a trap for him. We made it look like a leprechaun hat and had a false top on it, with a ladder on the side. It had 2 tiny signs, one that said "No leprechauns allowed!!" and the other said "Do NOT climb the ladder!!" Because leprechauns like to break the rules. We put gold on the top, knowing he wouldn't be able to resist. The gold was a giant glob of gold glitter glue that never dried. The ladder took me ages to make but I think it was worth it. The kids put gold fingerprints all over the hat to make sure he leprechaun knew there was gold. 

The leprechaun did come but he is a tricky fellow. He fell in but managed to pull the ladder in so he was able to climb out. He did leave some gold coins, chocolate of course. You only get the real stuff if you catch him! (by the way, the dogs got on the table in the middle of the night and stole all of the dang coins) He also left a t-shirt for each green peeps, a book about leprechauns, some green lizards, a ballerina barbie that was wearing blue and purple (best he could find) and a Hero Factory guy. Turns out the Hero Factory guy was a Hero Factory GIRL. Zach was sure that he left 2 things for Chelsea and none for him. Because he doesn't like girl stuff!! I had to convince him that the leprechaun just didn't know. Every time he plays with it he prefaces it with "I am making Breez be a BOY!" Oooppps. He also left a poem note that basically says haha you didn't catch me but I liked the attempt. Here are some prizes and make sure you wear the shirts so you don't get pinched. 

As tricks this year, he (attempted) to paint both kids nails green while they were sleeping. They both woke up but neither remembered. They both thought it was neat when they woke up and their nails and mine were green. He changed all he computer backgrounds to a picture of himself that said HAHA! You cant catch me! I can go anywhere! And he put pictures of him and his friends all over the front door. He also turned stuff green all day. Thats the funnest part for the kiddos. 

I didn't get a picture of us all dressed up in our green. I'm so mad at myself for that. Chelsea was wearing green leggings, a denim skirt and her tshirt. Zach had his tshirt with jeans and a shamrock tie that he wore all day. We had suspenders for him too but they didn't work with his tshirt so we nixed them. Brandon had his silly St. Patty shirt. It has a giant shamrock and suspenders on it. He also wore a GIANT bright green bow tie. I had a green tshirt that says "I love St. Pattys Day!" I wore it with a denim skirt, green tights and knee high "I love St. Pattys Day!" socks. We were all decked out. It was pretty awesome!   

I hope you all had a great day too!

May you always have
Walls for the winds,
A roof for the rain,
Tea beside the fire,
Laughter to cheer you,
Those you love near you,
And all your heart might desire!

Ode To Zach Braff

Man, I love this song. It used to be my ringtone. I need to figure out how to do that again.

Raja and Rusties wedding

My baby brother is now married. I do realize at some point I have to stop calling him my baby brother, I'm working on it. I am so happy for him. And I love Rustie. I hope they have a long happy life together. I was an emotional wreck yesterday. I tried to not be but it was beyond my control. It was an emotional day and I'm an emotional person. I don't want anyone to think for a second that it was because I was anything less then ecstatic for the 2 of them. They are adorable together and so happy. I just cant believe he is all grown up. He has always been my baby brother. I've always thought he has needed me and now, not as much. We have been close, always. When I got married we lost some of that closeness and I worry that we might lose more of it now. I pray that doesn't happen. I need him.

Anyway, it was a BEAUTIFUL wedding. So many people worked so long and hard on it and it showed. We had to be there early for the rehearsal, so it was a fairly long day. My kids did really good for having to be there all day though, I was thankful for that. Rustie held together better then most brides, as far as I saw anyway! And she looked beautiful. There was no doubt from either of them, that I am sure of. They were ready to begin their lives as Mr. and Mrs. The ceremony was short and very sweet. Chelsea got to be a flower girl and Zach got to be the ring bearer. They were both so happy about that. They love Raja and Rustie and were happy to be part of their special day.

The reception was great. There was tons of food, I am curious what they did with all of those leftovers. They cut into their beautiful fairy tale cake and smeared it in each others faces. Which made me happy. I always hope people will smash cake on each other! They had their first dance and it was so sweet. I cant remember what song it was but along the fairy tale theme. She danced with her dad and he danced with mom also. She threw her bouquet from the balcony upstairs and it hit the ceiling fan then landed right into her sisters arms. It was a bit funny. Raja threw flipped the garter and his buddy caught it.

I want to thank Rustie for including me and asking me to be a bridesmaid. It meant so very much to me. I am so happy to have you as part of our family. We are crazy and intrusive and we WILL make you crazy from time to time but we cant change our stripes. Its who we are. Take good care of my grown-up baby brother. He is a great man who loves with his whole heart. I love you both so much.