Raja and Rusties wedding

My baby brother is now married. I do realize at some point I have to stop calling him my baby brother, I'm working on it. I am so happy for him. And I love Rustie. I hope they have a long happy life together. I was an emotional wreck yesterday. I tried to not be but it was beyond my control. It was an emotional day and I'm an emotional person. I don't want anyone to think for a second that it was because I was anything less then ecstatic for the 2 of them. They are adorable together and so happy. I just cant believe he is all grown up. He has always been my baby brother. I've always thought he has needed me and now, not as much. We have been close, always. When I got married we lost some of that closeness and I worry that we might lose more of it now. I pray that doesn't happen. I need him.

Anyway, it was a BEAUTIFUL wedding. So many people worked so long and hard on it and it showed. We had to be there early for the rehearsal, so it was a fairly long day. My kids did really good for having to be there all day though, I was thankful for that. Rustie held together better then most brides, as far as I saw anyway! And she looked beautiful. There was no doubt from either of them, that I am sure of. They were ready to begin their lives as Mr. and Mrs. The ceremony was short and very sweet. Chelsea got to be a flower girl and Zach got to be the ring bearer. They were both so happy about that. They love Raja and Rustie and were happy to be part of their special day.

The reception was great. There was tons of food, I am curious what they did with all of those leftovers. They cut into their beautiful fairy tale cake and smeared it in each others faces. Which made me happy. I always hope people will smash cake on each other! They had their first dance and it was so sweet. I cant remember what song it was but along the fairy tale theme. She danced with her dad and he danced with mom also. She threw her bouquet from the balcony upstairs and it hit the ceiling fan then landed right into her sisters arms. It was a bit funny. Raja threw flipped the garter and his buddy caught it.

I want to thank Rustie for including me and asking me to be a bridesmaid. It meant so very much to me. I am so happy to have you as part of our family. We are crazy and intrusive and we WILL make you crazy from time to time but we cant change our stripes. Its who we are. Take good care of my grown-up baby brother. He is a great man who loves with his whole heart. I love you both so much.

I feel the need... The need for speed!

I've been thinking that I want to do something bucket list-ey for my 30th birthday. I can't seem to decide what to do though. The thing I want to do the most is ride a bull. It's been the highest thing on my bucket list since before I knew what a bucket list was. I looked into it though and the only place I found that would let me requires a 5 day class in spanish fork first and it costs a fortune. So that's out. Next I was thinking of bridge bungee jumping. Yes, if all my friends jumped off of a bridge, I would too. I'd be the one scheduling it. But there isn't a lot of bridges in greater salt lake city. I've already been skydiving and I'd really like it to be something I've never done before. La Dayna and I are going hang gliding or paragliding or something so that's awesome. Brandon suggested cliff diving but jumping into water is the one thing I won't do. So what is left? What should I do? Right now I'm thinking of doing the alpine slide and zip line in park city. Not as cool as riding a bull but would still be fun. Unless someone comes up with something better for me to do!

But he's my baby brother!

Oh my god. My baby brother is getting married on Saturday. It's not new news to me but it might as well be. I was just thinking, it really hasn't hit me yet I wonder when that will happen. Yeah, super, made it happen right then. I feel like I have been punched in the gut. I wasn't expecting this at all. The feeling, I mean, I was expecting the wedding. And I'm so happy for him and I adore Rustie and I hope they have a long happy life together. It's just that he's my baby brother. I helped raise him. He is my other kid. I can't believe he is at this point in his life. 

New room

I just put my kids to bed in separate rooms for the first time. Its a very strange feeling. Zach just moved into his very own room in the basement. I cant believe he is big enough for it. It always felt so far away. 

It took a lot of work to get that room ready to be a bedroom. Its still not completely done but its close enough that he could move in. It used to be the "toy room" it was basically the room we stashed the toys when no one was playing with them. We had no organization in there. It was a crazy room that no one went in unless they had to. Except me. It was also my computer room. I had my computer in there with a gigantic desk that had a separate set of drawers. Plus Brandon's god-awful humongous filing cabinet. The file cabinet is long and short. It took up entirely too much room. And it was COVERED in mail that Brandon swore he was going to file one day. It was a disaster area. 

So, I got all the toys out and got rid of most of them. I figure anything under the top layer probably doesn't get played with anymore. And it went away. I was able to paint half of the room after that. Then I shredded all that damn mail that was on the cabinet. It took forever and my shredder hates me now but man, it felt good! Next the desk had to go out and I had to wait until Brandon could help with that. Then the filing cabinet. We had to empty it before we could move it. I have another stack of paper for when my shredder recovers. But we moved it all out. 

I finished painting over the icky plyellow color (thats the color you get when you paint pale yellow over dark pink and it doesn't really cover. Its about as purty as it sounds) and Brandon tore out the nasty, old carpet and put it laminate flooring. It looks pretty cool. Zach wanted the brightest blue and the brightest green we could find and thats what he got. When I finished painting he came in and said "wow! I don't even know what to say! It looks so amazing!" The kid knows how to make me happy! It does look pretty awesome though. We got his bed in, he wanted his old white bed not his fort bed anymore. The white bed shows off his awesome super-hero bedding better. I still have to get his dresser and toy chest in for him. But he's pretty much set. I took him out and bought him a star wars poster he has been wanting for ages today. We are going to go buy a frame and get it hung up tomorrow. 

He is excited about his new room. Nervous though. He is sleeping downstairs all by himself and that is a big step. He tried to do it tonight but he got scared and came up crying. I went down and read to him for awhile then just laid with him until he fell asleep. I'm trying to convince Zelda that it would be a good place for her to sleep but since there isn't a door yet it's not going so great. 

Next up is selling a fort bed, a computer desk and a filing cabinet on KSL. Then transforming Chelsea's room into a big-girl Fancy Nancy princess room. Cant wait!

Preschool

Zach went to CCNS for preschool and I could never say enough about how wonderful it was. He thrived there, it was an amazing experience for him and me. I think it got us both ready for the way we hope his education will continue to be. I loved being involved and he had a wonderful class and a fantastic teacher. It was everything I could ever ask for in a preschool.

Chelsea started there this year and it is a very different experience. She was very excited to start and I was SO excited for her to have the same super beginning her brother did. I even made ALL of our friends sign up there. But it hasn't been as wonderful for Chelsea. I think its still an amazing school and I would still recommend it to anyone looking for a preschool. I cant pinpoint exactly why it hasn't worked for us this year. I don't know if its because they have a new director, we are very good friends with the last director. The new director and board staff seem to have changed a lot of things. Or if it is the class, most of them are on the very young end of the deadline and 2 or 3 that is a big difference. Or if it is that the teacher seems disengaged this year. She has told me that her other classes are testing her this year. Maybe its just the combination of everything. Maybe its just that its not the right school for Chelsea. Just because it was so perfect for Zach does not make it right for Chelsea.

So, I took Chelsea to lunch today, after a very frustrating field trip, and I talked to her about it. I asked if she loved school or if she wanted to stay home with me until next year when she can start her new school. She said she wanted to stay home. Honestly, it wouldn't be a big difference. She basically goes on her co-op days anymore and thats it.

We did find her a new school for next year that seems more Chelsea-suited. Its a preschool located inside of a dance studio, she would start the day with a dance or tumbling class then spend the rest of the time in an academic preschool. We took her in to see it and she is very excited. She is very into anything dance lately. Her favorite line is "should I twirl?"

I really wish CCNS had been a better fit for her. I'm beyond disappointed. It was my <3 school. I could not say anything bad about it. And I still don't think its the school. Its just how it works sometimes. I have to do what is right for my baby though. I know it seems silly but I don't want her to begin her education in a place she is indifferent about. CCNS helped Zach love school, I owe it to Chelsea to find the place that does that for her.

lame

I'm so lame. I want to blog about something and I cant think of anything to blog about. I have no "thing" in my life that seems so extra-special that it deserves its own blog. I could blog about my kids school, since its all I seem to do anymore. Honestly, I think I spend more time in school now then when I was actually in school. Thats really not so hard, I didn't LOVE school. I regret that now, I wish I had taken advantage of learning so much when it was free. No one tells you that after you are 18 you have to pay to learn ANYTHING new. I could blog about how my kids don't sleep. Its 1 am and my daughter just walked out of the bedroom and asked for nachos.  In fact, I could blog about how I don't sleep! But really, who wants to read about that?? I'm bored just thinking about that blog. How about that Chelsea hasn't worn a diaper in a week? We ran out of diapers and I wouldn't buy her more. Even though she was not at all potty trained. She has only had 3 accidents in the last week. Shes doing good with it.

So there ya go. I figured out what to blog about. My daughter wants nachos and is wearing big girl panties. May not be exciting but I sure do love my life!

**Cuz I'm cool like that, thats how I roll**  (totally should have blogged about the guy at Costco who made this my new favorite line, maybe next time.)

long day. frustrated.

dog threw up on the carpet in the middle of the night, staining it again. this time where i cant put a rug over it. not losing weight on my diet as fast as i hoped. so tired of salad already. chelsea and i have been butting heads since we woke up. she fights with me about everything and if she doesn't get her way she has started having temper tantrums. frustrated with the wedding and its not even mine, in fact i'm so uninvolved that i'm lucky i know the date. cant describe how much i hate hearing my mom cry and not being able to do anything to help. have to go buy shower invitations but dread having to take my children with me. fine with brandon having to work nights but its so hard to keep my very loud kids quiet all day so he can sleep. except the part where i'm not fine with it because i don't sleep worth crap when i have to sleep alone. forgot to defrost chicken for dinner. tried to take zach to the store to exchange clothes he got for christmas that were too big, he didn't want to go with me. feeling left out and forgotten, like there is a big joke and im the punchline. my head hurts and my eyes are red and puffy from crying because i don't know what to do. don't know if i have ever know what to do since so much of what im doing seems to be wrong.